Hire My Friend: the film studies major who absolutely lives for quality customer service

Every week, I bribe my friends to sell themselves on this blog.
This is the tear of the unemployed.

This is the tear of the unemployed.

Name: David

Major: Film Studies. If you ever found yourself questioning how other people could possibly be sleeping and relaxed during finals… I was the answer.

What I would have majored in 4 years ago had I known the economy was going to hell: Unfortunately, I’m one of those twisted people who knows exactly what they want to do in life, and no psychic epiphany could have lead me down another academic path.

Why I decided to waste $160K on an Ivy League education: Because I had $160K in my pocket (I was going through a parachute pants phase, at the time), and it was either I buy myself an Ivy League education or a LOT of pairs of parachute pants. I’m still questioning the decision.

I wrote my thesis on a favorite filmmaker of mine by the name of Werner Herzog… an ecstatically eccentric man who happens to be quite outspoken about his distaste for academia. He feels as if traditional schooling is  a ruinous force to those who wish to tell emotionally honest films – a force one should forego in favor of worldly experiences like boxing or walking across Europe. My love for this guy made every tuition check just that much more fun to write.

Incidentally, I am now considering grad school.

Current City of Residence: New York. Manhattan, to be more precise. The East Village, to be even more precise. Right above the hobo who looks EXACTLY like Kurt Vonnegut, to be extremely precise.

Ideal City of Residence: Tokyo. Unfortunately, my raging addictions to the New York Rangers, Film Forum, and Disney cartoon Phineas and Ferb have me a bit tied down in NYC at the moment. Also, just about everyone in the world I know and love lives here… so there’s that too, I guess.

Current job: Survey filler-outer. In my down time I professionally provide a reassuring point of reference for all of my employed friends. In August I quit working as a Personal Shopper for Apple, and  recently returned from a month in Japan where I was creating a multi-media project with a fellow Columbia Alum… I just finished editing that about an hour ago and now I’m in the process of planning a fundraiser at the end of the month for my next project. But mostly I just blog a lot about the impossibly asinine over at theecstatictruth.tumblr.com … which is less of a job than, ya know… my gift to the world.

Dream Job: Financially competent screenwriter/director.  Preferably of good movies. I would settle for a job at either Film Comment magazine or the Criterion Collection.  If all that failed… I’m not sure what I’d do, but I AM sure it would involve waking up at 11, wearing a fedora, and full benefits.

Resume claim to fame: Film Majors and resumes are like oil and… resumes.  Sorry, my real answer for this question was too sad – had to resort to snark.

Greatest achievement I don’t like to talk about in interviews: Does a finely honed Eddie Vedder impression count as an achievement? No? How bout the time when I finally kissed the girl I had liked throughout high school at my senior prom?  That was pretty epic. But it probably doesn’t count as it’s usually the first thing I bring up in interviews…

Okay okay, my one interview ever was for Apple, and all we talked about was how I absolutely LIVE for quality customer service.  I feel that one of the tragic ironies of life is that the jobs that seldom require formal interviews generally draw those who do best in interviews.  Oh well.

If you would like to hire David, send us a pleading email.
If you would like to be featured in the weekly Hire My Friend column or know someone who would, holla.
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