Your exciting new job opportunity awaits (hint: flexibility’s a plus)

stripper shoes

Job applicants should be fans of flattering men for money and pole dancing for exercise.

If, like millions of people in America, you find yourself out of a job, stripping might be a lucrative career for the young and nimble out there!

The first academic research project into lap dancing by Dr Teela Sanders and Kate Hardy from the University of Leeds discovered that most strippers had at least completed a further education course, while one in four had undergraduate degrees. This means that for many of the ladies working that pole, their profession was a conscious choice with a lack of better options, like for example, blogging.

Unemployed new graduates – mainly with arts degrees – were also dancing because they could not find graduate jobs and found that lap dancing paid much better than bar work.

Need a quick and easy way to pay for those loans? If you’re beer goggles attractive and can drink yourself numb enough to do the splits, stripping might work for you too!

Just over one in three dancers were in some form of education, with 13.9 per cent using dancing to help fund an undergraduate degree, 6.3 per cent to help fund a postgraduate degree, and 3.8 per cent using it to fund further education courses.

Based on this, the new classes the next generation should invest in are: ballet (for flexibilty), dance (for rhythm), health (for facts on contracting STDs from an unsanitized pole), and of course, theater (for how to wear nipple tassels with dignity).

Also, don’t major in art:

Some women begin dancing after graduating from university and not being able to find work. The researchers found arts degree graduates were most likely to report that they had turned to dancing after being unable to find other work. Others used dancing to provide a more steady and reliable income when working in more unstable arts jobs.


2 thoughts on “Your exciting new job opportunity awaits (hint: flexibility’s a plus)

  1. I don’t have a problem with a woman’s choice to dance, but boy – it sounds like it is like one creepy night after another with a bunch of perverts. I don’t even like being checked out by a sketchy looking dude and worse getting,”Hey mama…” when I am fully clothed.

  2. Pingback: Student loan debt keeps America’s youth stunted in childhood | Ivy Leagued and Unemployed

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