How to get your career back: Lindsay Lohan’s 10 step plan!

lindsay lohan vanity fair cover
2) Admit Your Prior Coke Dabblings
“I’ve admitted to the things that I’ve done — to, you know, dabbling in certain things and trying things ’cause I was young and curious and thought it was like, OK, ’cause other people were doing it and other people put it in front of me. And I see what happened in my life because of it.”
3) Stop Making Excuses
“I was irresponsible. And I’m not making excuses,” she said.
4) Then Blame Your Friends
“So many people around me would say they cared for the wrong reasons. A lot of people were pulling from me, taking from me and not giving. I had a lot of people that were there for me for, you know, the party.”
5) And Your Youth
“These were my college years . . . but they were in the public eye. I was irresponsible. I was experimenting,” she said. “I was doing certain things that people do 10 times more of when they’re in college.”
6) And Britney Spears
She said tabloids were her main source of news, and calls that “really scary and sad… I would look up to those girls… the Britneys and whatever. And I would be like, I want to be like that.”
7) And Definitely Your Effed Up Dad
“I think everyone has their own addictions and hopefully learns how to get past them,” she said. “I think my biggest focus for myself is learning how to continue to get through the trauma that my father has caused in my life.”
8 ) Once That’s Out of the Way, Become A Completely Different Person
“I’m a completely different person now,” she said.
9) Then, Channel Whatever Talent You Had as a Child
“I want my career back,” Lohan continued. “I know that I’m a damn good actress, and it’s been my passion since I was a child, and I know that when I care about something, I put 100 percent and more into it.”
10) And Finally, Hit Up The Clubs Only Every Other Night
“I want the respect that I had when I was doing great movies. And if that takes not going out to a club at night, then so be it. It’s not fun anyway. I don’t care. It’s the same thing every time.”

5 thoughts on “How to get your career back: Lindsay Lohan’s 10 step plan!

  1. I don’t understand this website at all.

    First of all, the unemployment rate for college graduates in this country is %4.5. And you graduated from one of the best universities, supposedly. Flaunting your unemployed status — given the employment numbers for people in this country who haven’t had the educational opportunities you have had — just seems a little tone-deaf.

    “Call us self-entitled, pretentious, and proud, but don’t forget to say hi if you see us bagging your groceries at Trader Joe’s or ringing you up at Starbucks.”

    Is this supposed to be you? If you were bagging at TJ’s or working at Starbucks, doesn’t that mean you’re employed?

    • ^

      This guy clearly doesn’t understand that tuition is growing faster than the rate of inflation. Underemployment, unemployment: you can’t keep up with those loan payments in either case.

  2. @JRM:
    the employment currently available for the majority of college graduates doesn’t have anything resembling a future. There isn’t a lot of room for growth at Trader Joes.

    Also, depending on where you’re getting that 4.5% figure from, it may include such high paying positions as “paying someone else so you can attend graduate school,” “paying someone to give you an internship,” and the ever popular freelancing.

    The people who didn’t have the chance to pay 40k a year to attend schools with names like Cornell, Michigan, and Stanford may not have to pay back the loans that frequently are used to pay those tuition bills. Making 30K a year after taking on a hundred in debt costs more than making that same 30k during the four years educated folks are in college. I think that’s [part of] the point.

  3. You are funny – love it! And apparently enlightened by the so called “reality” of this little system we got going here in Americas. I too am plagued by the enlightenment. If only it didn’t make me so damn unemployable!

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