When you’re lying in bed and crying yourself to sleep because you’re a jobless loser, unable to even wipe your tears with your hand because of an early onset of arthritis from hand-editing all those resumes, you think to yourself: damn, GODSPIRITWHOEVERYOUARE, I’m doing everything I can! I’m kissing ass on informational interviews, tailoring my cover letters until my fingers bleed, and dry cleaning all of my blazers so I have no money left to eat. What more do you want from me? All I’m asking for is a crummy cubicle job. IF ONLY I HAD A FAIRY GODMOTHER TO COME AND SPRINKLE ME WITH CORPORATE FAIRYDUST.
Well, you’re in luck, pathetic unemployed vagrant! Lifetime (yes the same channel that brought you A Boyfriend for Christmas and The 19th Wife) has a new recession reality show that answers your prayers: The Fairy Jobmother. The show is a British import that features self-titled career specialist Hayley Taylor assisting “severely job-challenged” families with “tough love” career advice.Taylor is a former hairdresser turned stay-at-home mom turned manager at an employment training center. Her Kate Gosselin haircut and views against unemployment benefits should make for delicious reality TV:
My thoughts are that the system gives people a liveable amount of money – not a vast amount of money – but for general living, it gives people an amount they can manage on and survive on. So if you can manage and survive, why are you going to go out there and panic to find a job? You’re not going to.
Intrigued? Desperate? The show premieres with a special sneak preview after the Project Runway finale Oct. 28. Regular episodes start Nov. 4.