The economy forces poor graduates to help people for a living

pennies

Oh look, my new paycheck!

Most kids with college degrees just hate being good people and not making a ton of money. But this damn recession has forced them to do good. Blech.

Renewed interest in public service is visible across the country. Applications for AmeriCorps positions have nearly tripled to 258,829 in 2010 from 91,399 in 2008. The number of applicants for Teach for America climbed 32 percent last year, to a record 46,359. Organizations like Harvard’s Center for Public Interest Careers have been overwhelmed — and overjoyed — with the swelling demand from talented 20-somethings.

These pitiful grads are like helping people now instead of having “You know, a normal job,” in the wise words of recent grad Alison Sadock. Rather than bringing home six-figure paychecks, poor Alison had to “scrounge about” looking for jobs before she ended up at the Starlight Children’s Foundation, an organization that helps seriously ill children.

WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO? A BETTER PLACE?!

Phew, no, it’s not. See, we were forced into it because the recession stole all the for-profit jobs like a greedy little grinch-face.

The sudden surge in 2009, though, suggests that the absence of traditional private sector jobs forced many of the country’s best and brightest into lower-paying, if psychically rewarding, work.

Since the recession began three years ago, the private sector has shed 7 percent of its jobs. The federal government, meanwhile, has expanded its payrolls 3 percent.

So there you have it, that’s why kids nowadays have to take these lowly jobs that make a difference in the world. And it turns out, “in retrospect,” they don’t hate their lives now that they were bullied into this career path for poor people.

Like Ms. Sadock, many of the dozen other young graduates interviewed for this story say that, in retrospect, they are grateful the private sector shut them out.

So give it a try, y’all!

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