Student loan debt prevents America’s youth from ever getting married

woman screamingHow’re things going? Having a great day? Maaaaybe you shouldn’t read this post then.

I’m basically going to defer to the overwhelmingly depressing stats in the New York Times of Gloom for this one.

Student loan debt outpaced credit card debt for the first time last year and is likely to top a trillion dollars this year as more students go to college and a growing share borrow money to do so. Continue reading

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Breaking: Your unemployed spouse is basically killing you

arguing at work

No, that is not where you left the effing stapler, OKAY?!

Have you found yourself more overloaded at work than usual, arguing with co-workers more often, or feeling a general dissatisfaction with the work you’re producing? You could maybe chalk it up your terrible boss, or even more terrible coworkers, or even MORE terrible assignments. But do you also happen to have a laid-off partner? Well then, the Journal of Applied Psychology suggests that’s where the real blame belongs. Continue reading

For a select few, the recession is a major turn-on

piggy bank in love

What? Pennies can be very erotic you know.

Economic setbacks like unemployment or mortgage woes are linked to big declines in marital happiness, but a minority of married Americans say the recession has deepened their commitment to their spouse, according to a new report. [NYT]

Honey, I’ve never felt happier than cooking canned soup with you. Spending nights in total darkness to save on electricity and selling my finest jewelry to barely keep the mortgage payments coming keeps me grounded and gives life a new meaning. I’m so much more fulfilled spending every hour together since we both got laid off. I’ve learned so much about you, like that cute little face you make when you fart silently and the peculiar, fungus-like odor your socks give off after not showering for days. I’m truly blessed and I can’t believe it took us going on welfare to realize that!

Another victim of the recession: your sex life

young couple in bed

Nothing puts you in the mood like sharing a thin wall with your parents!

The young couple’s relationship has suffered. Arguments are more frequent. Their sex life, they say, is basically nonexistent. Every night, with her parents in the next room, Mr. Wilson and Ms. Maggi discuss in hushed tones how and when they might be able to move out. [NYT]

Economy fulfills every mother’s dream and forces kids, grandkids to move back home

meet the fockers

One big happy crowded family.

What do you get when you combine two parents, at least one graduated kid, grandpa, Uncle Jack, and a boyfriend or two? Your new recession family!

Unemployed kids have been journeying home for awhile now. And when you factor in all those poor couples living in sin and the grandparents who can’t survive off their social security checks, you got yourself one hell of an extended living situation.

According to new census data, family households added about 3.8 million extended family members, from adult siblings and in-laws to cousins and nephews from 2005 to 2009. Extended family members now make up 8.2% of family households.

Porta pottys for everybody!

Recession making young adults regress into awkward high school living scenarios

dating at home

Um, hi mom.

Did you move back home after college? Congratulations! You are part of a new recession trend!

According to the Pew Research Center, about 20 million people ages 18 to 34 live at home with their parents — roughly 30 percent of that age group. That’s up from about 18 million, or 27 percent, in 2005. Roughly one-third, or 35 percent, of boomerang kids said they had lived independently at some point in their lives but had to move back in with their parents. About half of the grown children worked full- or part-time, while 25 percent were unemployed and 20 percent were full-time students.

And here’s the kicker:

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, a smaller share of 16- to 24-year-olds are currently employed — 46.1% — than at any time since the government began collecting such data in 1948.

Data released earlier this year showed that older Americans will make up virtually all of the growth in the U.S. work force in the coming years as a nearly unprecedented number hold onto jobs and younger people decide to stay in school.

So for all of us getting a slower start on our careers, paying our bills, and other trappings of the adult life, at least we know we’re not alone.

David Morrison, president and founder of Twentysomething Inc., a marketing and research firm, told the AP: “Young adults are the first to feel the brunt of a bad economy and the last to feel the benefits of a recovering economy. So the first way you hedge your bets is to minimize your expenses.”

At least the stigma of living with your parents is sort of neutralized now that everyone‘s doing it.