Hire My Friend: the english major who is actually wicked good at Excel

Every week, I bribe my friends to sell themselves on this blog.

Looking for patron.

Looking for a patron.

Name: Sam

Major: English

What I would have majored in 4 years ago had I known the economy was going to hell: English. I never really wanted to be employable.  The recession just helped out.

Why I decided to waste $160K on an Ivy League education: I think it was more than that…

Current City of Residence: Oh man… This is the hardest question on the test.  I actually don’t have a residence right now. [Editor’s note: Sam is not homeless. Last I heard, he has embarked on a colossal road trip!]
Ideal City of Residence: New York
Current job: Writing cover letters.
Dream job: I would love to have a patron.
Resume claim to fame: I’m actually wicked good at Excel unlike all you goddamn liars.
Greatest achievement I don’t like to talk about on interviews: I once was ranked the 37th best Tetris player in New York City.
If you would like to be Sam’s patron, send us a pleading email.
If you would like to be featured in the weekly Hire My Friend column or know someone who would, holla.