Economy forces men to prostitute themselves for money

gigolos showtime

Nothing says victim of the recession like "I can't show my eyes in the promotional photos."

In case your life seems miserable enough already, there’s a new Showtime reality show that will put things into perspective! The sex-selling network took HBO’s premise of Hung (a hot, well-endowed single dad sells his ginormous god-given gift to make a living in the recession — surely a story for our times!) and applied it to real people, Real-Housewives-style. Continue reading

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Latvian recession results in large parade of perky blondes

latvia blonde parade

As far as we know, there is no Latvian word for Recession Barbie.

Some unemployed people send out resumes. Others lie in bed all day eating Cheetos. And a whole separate group — beautiful, well-endowed, high-heeled, and with hair that looks like sunshine — march through the streets to raise the spirits of the laid off masses. Continue reading

Shamed bankers turn to illicit affairs to get their groove back

Maybe they just got confused because money is involved in both transactions.

As if cheating the citizens wasn’t bad enough, London Reuters reports that disgraced financiers are turning to another crime to help regain whatever wasn’t lost of their dignity.

IllicitEncounters.com said it has seen a huge increase in the number of financial workers signing up to have affairs after the collapse of the markets in October last year, and that “finance” continued to be one of the most represented professional areas on the site.

The website said in a statement that it has over 380,000 members across Britain of which more than 20,000 work in “financial services” and said it surveyed over 600 men and women bankers to compile a top 10 list of reasons why they embarked on extra-marital affairs.

Of course, the reasons for their improper behavior are pretty much the same as what led to the irresponsible mishandling of money in the first place: unchecked pride, raging testosterone, and childish bragging rights.

The list shows that public revulsion for bankers combined with a lack of affection in private was the top reason for having an affair, followed closely by the excitement of doing something risky, escaping boredom, feeding the ego and one-upping the boys with a trophy mistress.

No word on whether this holds true for Americans as well, but I bet Europe is proud that their bankers are so dedicated to remaining awful human beings. It takes courage to be such a long running joke.

Oh. Job hunting in this economy is like “stalking something on the endangered species list” according to the NYT

The lovely ladies willing to do almost anything for a job.

The lovely ladies willing to do almost anything for a job.

New York’s paper of record decided to tackle the economy in a new and thrilling way this weekend by profiling two unemployed Ohio transplants. Sadly for anyone looking forward to a legitimate story of our time, they are female twins. And blonde.

N.R. Kleinfield – who for some reason chose to describe their jobless perils in strange, half-poetic fragments (“Happy Hour at Dive 75, Kristy at the bar. Familiar faces trickled in, spat out orders.“) – tries to accurately represent the suicidal stress of job hunting.

We find out that Katie and Kristy Barry, 24, have applied for over 150 jobs, but continue to work as bartenders. We know that the recent Rutgers grads live with two other people in a 2 bdr apartment. We learn that they send Buckeyes, a chocolate-coated peanut-butter confection that is an Ohio specialty, to stand out to employers. Neither has health insurance. One has said that she wants to stab herself . Both worry about stumbling along Broadway in plastic shoes.

Continue reading

Today’s adventures on craigslist

I stumbled upon a great job for a writer’s research/personal assistant near the esteemed Columbia University.

Said writer is “working on a book about the New York dating scene.” Hm. Besides scheduling interviews, transcribing, and potentially ghostwriting, the aspiring Gay Talese has other requirements:

* nag me and force me to write (just being honest here)
* general project organization (there are several balls in the air)

Check and check! Eager former interns love handling several balls in the air!

And of course the job is only for the brave and resolute:

I am male and you will be working in my home office, so if you’re not comfortable with that situation, please don’t apply.

But wait…something seems off. Could it be because he mentions “the two of us will be spending a lot of time together” and that the subject matter “may get a bit risque,” or is it because along with a resume and writing sample, he requests a photo and a link to your Facebook/MySpace profile?

Because serious male writers who intend to spend a lot of time with female personal assistants need some kind of objective proof of their skills. You know like hair color, smile, and breast size.

Luckily, this is what I look like when applying for jobs.

Luckily, this is what I look like when applying for jobs.