The lovely ladies willing to do almost anything for a job.
New York’s paper of record decided to tackle the economy in a new and thrilling way this weekend by profiling two unemployed Ohio transplants. Sadly for anyone looking forward to a legitimate story of our time, they are female twins. And blonde.
N.R. Kleinfield – who for some reason chose to describe their jobless perils in strange, half-poetic fragments (“Happy Hour at Dive 75, Kristy at the bar. Familiar faces trickled in, spat out orders.“) – tries to accurately represent the suicidal stress of job hunting.
We find out that Katie and Kristy Barry, 24, have applied for over 150 jobs, but continue to work as bartenders. We know that the recent Rutgers grads live with two other people in a 2 bdr apartment. We learn that they send Buckeyes, a chocolate-coated peanut-butter confection that is an Ohio specialty, to stand out to employers. Neither has health insurance. One has said that she wants to stab herself . Both worry about stumbling along Broadway in plastic shoes.
I stumbled upon a great job for a writer’s research/personal assistant near the esteemed Columbia University.
Said writer is “working on a book about the New York dating scene.” Hm. Besides scheduling interviews, transcribing, and potentially ghostwriting, the aspiring Gay Talese has other requirements:
* nag me and force me to write (just being honest here)
* general project organization (there are several balls in the air)
Check and check! Eager former interns love handling several balls in the air!
And of course the job is only for the brave and resolute:
I am male and you will be working in my home office, so if you’re not comfortable with that situation, please don’t apply.
But wait…something seems off. Could it be because he mentions “the two of us will be spending a lot of time together” and that the subject matter “may get a bit risque,” or is it because along with a resume and writing sample, he requests a photo and a link to your Facebook/MySpace profile?
Because serious male writers who intend to spend a lot of time with female personal assistants need some kind of objective proof of their skills. You know like hair color, smile, and breast size.
Luckily, this is what I look like when applying for jobs.