Stop Thinking You’re A Jobless Lowlife

couch potato

This photo has been doctored with sepia undertones to mask the identity of this poor, fine-grade specimen of unemployed male.

Unemployed of the world unite: You have nothing to lose but your pot belly!

There is no greater blow to your self-esteem than losing your job. Thanks to all of that menacing free time, you’re more likely to ruminate on how shitty your life is going, how much your wife hates you now, and what a shell of a man you’ve become. (I imagine women on the other hand, like myself, just weep and eat themselves fat while updating their resumes). Clinical Professor of Psychology Robert L. Leahy, Ph.D points out a toxic thread among the unemployed: self-loathing.

British psychologists Adrian Wells and Costas Papageorgiou have found that people who ruminate actually think that they will figure things out, solve a problem and avoid making the same mistake in the future. Of course, there may be some truth that ruminating may “give you closure” or lead to solutions—but excessive rumination simply makes you more depressed.

As it turns out, sulking is not going to lead you to any kind of productive revelation that will magically transform you into a resume-churning member of society by morning.

As Yale psychologist Susan Nolen-Hoeksema has shown, rumination leads to depression and keeps you depressed. People who ruminate withdraw from the real world, often isolating themselves from other people. When you ruminate you are almost always focused on something negative—what is going on in your head. It adds to your sense of helplessness and makes you feel worse.

See the helpful tips from the PhD, who’s conveniently pimping out his new book on depression at Psychology Today, after the jump.

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New York Times to College Grads: Your Future Is Bleak


These fools are only throwing their caps because they haven't read the newspaper yet.

For those of you looking forward to celebrating your new shiny diploma, the New York Times suggests you may want to try selling it for food instead. Continue reading

Two recession-proof industries everyone should get behind

The combination of fast food with one of America's favorite pasttimes kind of makes me sick.

Do you think they do parties too?

Time reports that Halloween sales will reach a record-breaking $6 billion in 2009, up 4.2% from last year. And McDonalds has posted a nearly 6% gain in third-quarter profit and its shares rose 2% last week. Based on these stats alone, dressing like dead celebrity sluts and greasy fries always persevere.

I’ve never been prouder to be an American.

Also, I think my Halloween costume has been decided for me.