Economy forces men to prostitute themselves for money

gigolos showtime

Nothing says victim of the recession like "I can't show my eyes in the promotional photos."

In case your life seems miserable enough already, there’s a new Showtime reality show that will put things into perspective! The sex-selling network took HBO’s premise of Hung (a hot, well-endowed single dad sells his ginormous god-given gift to make a living in the recession — surely a story for our times!) and applied it to real people, Real-Housewives-style. Continue reading

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Breaking: Your unemployed spouse is basically killing you

arguing at work

No, that is not where you left the effing stapler, OKAY?!

Have you found yourself more overloaded at work than usual, arguing with co-workers more often, or feeling a general dissatisfaction with the work you’re producing? You could maybe chalk it up your terrible boss, or even more terrible coworkers, or even MORE terrible assignments. But do you also happen to have a laid-off partner? Well then, the Journal of Applied Psychology suggests that’s where the real blame belongs. Continue reading

Recession causes sex slump epidemic for British men

couch potato

Can't wait to get a piece of this action, eh ladies?

Stop the presses! Hold the mayo! Ring some sort of bell of the apocalypse!

Are you ready for this? Are you sure?

Okay, you’ve probably never read about anything like this ever before. So maybe sit down, grab a brewski, and exhale a few times. Continue reading

How to date in the recession without revealing your inner cheap ass

jessica rabbit

Experts say hiding certain unseemly qualities, like say passing yourself off as Jessica Rabbit in your pofile pic, will help you find a life mate one day.

The recession has given love a particularly hard time these past few years. (See “Reason #468 why the recession is ruining your love life“). And a few months back, in a clever ploy to get people to remember who they are, online savings bank ING Direct surveyed 1,000 people on which words would come to mind if someone was fixing them up on a blind date with someone described as — god I almost vommed typing this — “frugal.”

Shocker: only 3.7% found that sexy.

Now as someone who has professed her willingness to marry a total stranger for his health insurance benefits, I probably shouldn’t comment on this. But anyway, 15% picked “boring” and 27% chose “stingy.”

Concerned by these sad statistics, NYT money columnist Ron Lieber decided to ask some random online daters for advice. How do you avoid the dreaded F-word? The answer, another shocker: Do what you do regarding everything else in dating profiles. Lie. Continue reading

Wait, househusbands may not be the golden ticket young girls always dreamed of

prostitute

This is your unemployed hubby on his "job interview."

Earlier on this blog, we extolled the kickass scenario some lucky wives find themselves in: due to the recession, male breadwinners have become unemployed househusbands who take care of the kids, cook dinner for you, clean the apartment, and help you kick off your stilettos after a hard day of work.

But according to a recent study on infidelity, men who are financially dependent on their wives and live-in girlfriends are five times more likely to cheat than those who made the same amount of money.

Before you throw your pay stubs in your deadbeat husband’s face, you should remember that cheating is still a rare occurrence, the head researcher told NPR’s health blog. Continue reading

4 reasons why you should never sleep with the unemployed

jessica rabbit

Something tells me she is the antithesis of what you will find in the jobless dating pool.

A few weeks back, Nerve.com decided to get sex advice from the unemployed. I know it’s tough to keep those standards up when you can barely afford the drinks necessary to meet (and potentially sleep with) strangers, but I really can’t see how this was at all beneficial for those interviewed. Here are four things I gleaned from the piece about the sexual misadventures of the jobless.

1) The unemployed are so insecure about not having a job that you can’t even ask them what they do as a topic of conversation. Continue reading

Is the recession causing you to cling to your partner?

money marriage

All a marriage needs is flying wads of cash.

Money is an awkward thing in relationships, which is why it’s hard to believe anybody’s dating anybody in this economy. In fact, however, the opposite is true. The NYT reports that the recession has resulted in tighter bonds with your loved one (often whether you like it or not).

A spouse is more likely to depend on health care from a spouse, or on in-laws to help finance a mortgage or to assist with child care. And the ones who are hanging tight are retrenching and redeveloping an appreciation for time spent together.

All the more reason to listen to your elders and get married for the financial benefits! Continue reading

No one in the Ivy League is having sex

steve carell 40 year old virgin

Let 40-Year-Old Virgin be a lesson to you, smartypants.

Ok, so that’s a bit of an overstatement. But it turns out most Ivy Leaguers are not getting laid. Maybe this explains why we’re so much more frustrated than everyone else? I’m not sure how this translates to the job hunt, but if the Jonas Brothers are any indication, your V-Card is a really good way to stay focused in the face of success.

According to a Crimson survey of the class of 2009, in their four years at Harvard, 52 percent of the students had one or zero sexual partners, and only 28 percent had even one dating partner. […] “Go Ask Alice!”—Columbia University’s Dear Abby-equivalent—reports that the majority of polled college students also had zero or one sexual partners in a given year, while believing that their peers were having three times as much sex as they were. Other revealing statistics include that 31 percent of U.S. college women are still virgins at graduation and that college male sexual activity is down from 2.1 partners in 2001 to 1.6 partners in 2006. [The Crimson]

Sounds about right to me…(Thanks for the tip!)

Lengthy unemployment leads to lots more sex

I have those same exact tights...

Everyone knows that one of the benefits of being jobless is oodles of free time. So much free time that sometimes, after reading every blogpost on your GoogleReader and IMing all of your friends at work, you don’t even know what to do with yourself. Some people, though, have no trouble finding sexual creative endeavors with which to occupy their time.

UPI reports that lengthy unemployment increases “sexual appetite and risky sexual behavior” in young people.

Matthew J. Davis, a Texas A&M University doctoral student, looked at the responses from 2,362 participants ages 21-27 concerning their sexual behavior, including number of partners, frequency and use of contraceptives.

The study, published in the journal Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity, showed people with higher rates of poverty were more likely to have sex more often with multiple partners and not utilize birth control and protection.

That unemployment leads to more sex makes sense on many levels (more free time, heightened sense of boredom, lower standards), but that it leads to risky sexual behavior is a bit more disappointing. Continue reading